This
is a bricklayer's accident actual (verbatim) report, which was printed in the
newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the Workers' Compensation board. This
is a true story. Had this bloke died, he'd have received a Darwin Award without
question...
"Dear
Sir,
I
am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of
the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my
accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details
will be sufficient.
I
am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on
the roof of a new six story building. When I completed my work, I found that I
had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly
in excess of 500 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to
lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the
building on the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to
the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down
and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.
You
will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135 lbs. Due to
my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of
mind and forgot to let go of the rope Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid
rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the
barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equal, impressive speed. This
explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as
listed in section 3 of the accident report form.
Slowed
only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of
my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately by this time
I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in
spite of beginning to experience a great deal of pain.
At
approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and
the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that
barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight.
As
you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building. In the
vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the
two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower
body. Here my luck began to change slightly.
The
encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I
fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.
I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain,
unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of
the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down
onto me. This explains the two broken legs.
I
hope this answers your inquiry."